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Il Dottor BizBaz & l'esoscheletr0 di Mister Okay

Dal poco che aveva capito, il Dottor Biz Baz ne aveva combinata un’altra delle sue.

Stava trasvolando placidamente, per così dire a diporto, i cieli blu sopra Catchemall Capitol City quando il suo udito potenziato radarizzò alcuni strilli e strani stridii provenienti da terra. Buttò un occhio da basso e la sua vista grandangolare scansionò un gran mishmash animare la piazza principale della capitale, a lui dedicata.

Yokonò senza indugio, e, poco poco che la suola delle sue calosce si posava sull’acciottolato, avvistò subito una cricca di personaggi conciati nei modi più strambi che villaineggiava la cittadinanza con armi altrettanto bizzarre. Dava l’idea di un raduno di cosplay, più che altro. Ci pensò l’immagine trasmessa dal megascreen addossato al Multiplex alle sue spalle a chiarirgli che cosa stesse realmente H-dendo.

Questo è l’incipit di un racconto lungo uscito un paio di anni fa (esatti, più o meno) a firma Pee Gee Daniel, che per Mister Okay è un po’ quello che è stato Giovanni Battista per Gesù Cristo, preconizzandolo anni prima che si presentasse in prima persona alla ribalta del mondo.

Qua e là, in un recente passato, prima che la KORM ent. fosse fondata con la concomitante pubblicazione del romanzo “Mister Okay“, il suddetto Daniel aveva infatti iniziato a disseminare in varie forme scritti Okay-relati, uno dei quali è per l’appunto quello in esame:

In esso appare per la prima volta, cioè ufficialmente, uno dei più sapidi nemici di Mister Okay, il Dottor BizBaz, che così verrà poi descritto nel romanzo edito dalla Korm:

Il Dottor Biz Baz è un accumulatore maniacale. Non smetterebbe mai di infarcire la sua casa-museo di pezzi a suo dire “unici”. Nel corso degli anni ha cambiato abitazione in un perenne accrescimento di metratura quadra, mosso dalla necessità di trovare nuovi spazi per i suoi oggetti rari. Quello che lo distingue da un comune soggetto ossessivo-compulsivo ‒ e che fa invece di lui un collezionista, anzi, il più grande collezionista vivente – è il fatto di essere guidato da un preciso criterio.
Non è il bello quello che cerca, troppo scontato, e a lungo andare stucchevole. Quel che gli interessa è l’insolito.
Ciò che cattura l’occhio e gli altri sensi, che si scontorna dalla banalità della maggioranza, ciò che ha in sé qualcosa di irripetibile, la cui vista in qualche modo conturbi lo spettatore.

Qual è il motivo ricorrente, ovvero la fissazione, che spinge ogni volta il Dottor BizBaz a cercare di sconfiggere l’invulnerabile Mister Okay? Il di lui scheletro!

Era certo che le vertebre fossero costituite da un qualche metalloide extraterrestre, che si illuminasse nel buio e che potesse sorreggere un carico da chissà quanti teragrammi senza rischiare la minima incrinatura. Sarebbe stato uno stupendo complemento d’arredo. Ci avrebbe fatto un figurone con i suoi ospiti.

E qual è il diabolico piano che dà il titolo al profetico libretto di un biennio fa?

Una cosa davvero spaventosa, se ci si pensa bene:

Il Dottor Biz Baz era il più grande collezionista sulla faccia della dunia. La sua magione era infarcita come un tramezzino tonno e maio di suppellettili, fossili, pezzi di antiquariato, particole e curiosità varie di raro pregio. Se voleva qualcosa, qualsiasi cosa, conosceva i canali giusti per arrivarci.

Non gli era stato poi tanto difficile, perciò, clonare tutti i peggiori sooperkattivi di ogni tempo per schierarli contro il suo nemico giurato. Gli era bastata una raccolta ben selezionata di campioni biologici appaiata alla macchina duplicatrice con acceleratore di crescita commissionata all’uopo all’Ingegner Fluo.

Ecco alcuni dei cattivoni che Mister Okay si trova perciò ad affrontare nel corso della novella: Mao Zedong, Ivan il Terribile, Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Josif Stalin, Napoleone, Gengis Khan, Caligola, Charles Manson, Ed Gain, John Wayne Gacy, King-Jong Un, Attila, Landru, Erzsébet Bàthory, Pietro Pacciani, Billy the Kid, Al Capone, il pirata Barbanera etc. etc. etc. C’è addirittura l’Uomo di Boston, di cui parlavamo qui.

Mister Okay si vedrà costretto a baccagliare tre ordini di malvagi redivivi: personaggi storici, serial killer e veri e propri mostri, come il Bigfoot o lo Yeti.

Tutti tenteranno di sopraffarlo, affinché chi li ha resuscitati ne possa approfittare per impadronirsi di ciò che gli interessa, una volta che Mister Okay sarà sconfitto e annichilito.

Ci riusciranno? Se la storia vi ha incuriosito, siete fortunati, il racconto è ancora disponibile. Lo trovate a questo indirizzo.

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